


The Good Side

by breakatake



Series: Jamilton YouTuber/Band Au [10]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alexander Hamilton is George Washington's Biological Son, Alexander is a dick, Alexander is heartbroken, Alexander’s in love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hercules is profective, Hospitals, Human Disaster Alexander Hamilton, John Laurens is mad at Thomas, M/M, Sappy Shit, Thomas is an asshole, Thomas isn’t over Alex, a lot of feelings, band au, but he’s also hurting so please don’t hate him, hes so cute ok, im sorry, overworked Alexander Hamilton, sad songs, there’s a lot of anger and tears, thomas is a youtuber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-14 06:39:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16487669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakatake/pseuds/breakatake
Summary: Thomas and Alexander broke up right before Alexander goes on tour, but Thomas greatly regrets it.





	1. Thomas

**Author's Note:**

> hiiiiii if you haven’t read the rest of the series you’re prpbably extremely confused !! read it pls !!! it’ll help you understand  
> also this is going to be written in each pov but in third person? like one chapter is thomas and the other is alex

It’s been 3 months since they’ve talked.

Since then, Thomas became quiet. He’d greatly regretted leaving Alexander, but he didn’t know what to do. He was so mad at himself that he didn’t know what to do. He hated himself so much that he began being angry with the world. The only people he was really “okay” with were his family and friends. Speaking of whom were super supportive of both him and Alexander, and he couldn’t have been more appreciative. Despite him being angry at the world, his friends never left his side. They were there through the moods, the pain, the suffering, the crying, the laughs, the smiles, everything. 

But Thomas was hurting even more lately.

The day came where it finally hit him that  _Alexander wasn’t going to date him again._ Thomas hurt him so bad, Alexander would be  _insane_ if he got back with him.

Thomas left him because he couldn’t handle Alexander leaving.

How bad did that make him seem? He knew it made him seem like a dick (and it was a dick move, Alexander told him a week later over text and then never spoke to him again). He felt horrible because he told him he would be supportive and that he’d stay with him, then he didn’t. 

He broke the promise.

Thomas was laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had one of Alexander’s hoodies in his arms (he couldn’t wear it because Alexander was a small and Thomas was a large due to how big his torso was. He had it clutched againsg his chest, holding it just like he would hold him.

_Him._ Alexander Hamilton. He’d avoided reading things about the band and going on instagram or YouTube because he didn’t want to see his face. He’d announced his hiatus on Twitter, saying he wouldn’t be on YouTube for awhile and his few hundred subscribers were all really supportive. 

Every time he went on, he saw something that reminded him of Alexander. He didn’t want to see his face, didn’t want to see the pain he caused him because it was so evident on his face. He didn’t want to see him smile with fans, it was the smile he caused to leave his face. Alexander used to be so extremely happy, but Thomas left him and now he felt broken.

Thomas missed the way he felt when he slept in his arms and he missed the pressure of his lips against his own. He missed the smell of his honey scented conditioner and his tiny hands clutching at his shirt. He missed the way he would scrunch his nose when he read things and how he looked when he was confused. He missed his love for his instruments and the passion he had. He missed his fits of passion and the way he moved his hands when he spoke. 

Thomas would do anything to feel that again. He would do anything to have Alexander not despise him for this. He wanted him back, but how? After he did this? That was completely out of the question. 

Thomas rolled over on his bed and took his glasses off, putting them on his bedside table. He let a tear slip from his eye and he closed his eyes. He gripped the sweater tighter, seeing if gripping tighter would make him come back. Maybe if he kept wishing, Alexander would come home and Alexander would forgive him. 

Alexander was off living his dream and Thomas was supposed to be a part of that, but he wasn’t anymore and it was his own fault. How could he do this?


	2. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander is a mess.  
> The song for this chapter is I Remember You by Skid Row and I recommend listening to it while you read this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m listening to the vamps and i just ate curry

“Laf, no.” Alexander grumbled as he laid in his bed, holding his phone above his face. He scrolled through instagram. Lafayette had been begging him to go out with him, John, and Hercules for a half hour, but Alexander wasn’t budging.

Lafayette sighed and laid down next to his best friend. 

“Mon ami,” he started and looked over at him. Alexander looked like he hadn’t slept in a few weeks and Lafayette was starting to get worried because besides shows and stuff, Alexander never left the house. They were going to be in England for another month or so before taking off to the U.S. again and touring there, and Lafayette didn’t know if Alexander even wanted to go home. “You cannot coop yourself up in here, please come outside with us. We can go watch a movie. Please?” he asked quietly and Alexander looked at Lafayette with a sad expression.

He shook his head and locked his phone, moving closer to Lafayette and laying on his chest. “Too tired.” He whispered and Lafayette sighed and wrapped an arm around him. He knew how hard this breakup was for Alexander. He just hated how he was handling it. He didn’t want him to isolate himself even more than he already was. They had a show tonight, but Lafayette wanted to get him to at least eat a slice of pizza and go to the park. 

Lafayette rubbed his back and he looked up at the ceiling. “It is alright. Tomorrow, okay? Promise?” He asked and Alexander nodded. 

“Promise.” he replied and they stayed silent for a few minutes. “I want to cover it tonight.” Lafayette knew what he was talking about and he looked at him. Alexander didn’t want to cover this song specifically because the breakup was still fresh and it hurt him. 

Alexander felt like this would be a good way to let Thomas know he still loved him and he was still here. Lafayette didn’t think it was a good idea because he didn’t want Thomas to hurt or Alexander to hurt. 

The bags under his eyes were starting to get worrying, Lafayette was scared that if he got anymore depressed then he would end up collapsing or something from exhaustion.

 Lafayette gently wrapped both of his arms around Alexander and he sighed as he watched Alexander close his eyes. “You haven’t slept in awhile, you should nap before the show.” Lafayette mumbled and Alexander nodded. Alexander buried his face into Lafayette’s chest and within a few minutes of Lafayette humming, he was out like a light. Lafayette wasn’t surprised, when Alexander actually  _tried_ to sleep, he slept like it was nobody’s business. 

Hercules peeked his head in the door and he gave Lafayette a small smile. “Hey, sweetheart. Did you force him down and make him sleep?” He teased in a whisper and he walked over to sit on the footside of the bed. Lafayette shook his head and he looked down at Alexander. 

“He’s hurting.”

”I know.”

”He wants to cover it tonight.” Lafayette stated and Hercules looked at him, shocked. 

“Will-Will he be okay?” Hercules cautiously questioned. He was worried that Alexander would break down (as he did every time he heard the song after the breakup) because he missed Thomas too much. He didn’t want Alexander to torture himself, but maybe this would help him let go or get closure for himself. Hercules thought it was a good idea, but also a bad one. He didn’t really know what to say, all he knew was he would be there for Alexander if he was hurt. 

Lafayette nodded. “He’ll be okay.”

———

As they were getting ready for the show to begin, Hercules was vlogging everything going on backstage. Alexander was sat on the couch, curled up and using his phone to text Angelica. 

Alexander sighed and locked his phone laying down on the couch. “I’m fucking tired.” he muttered and John glared at him.

”Don't swear, we’re vlogging.” he joked and Alexander sat up and smirked.

”FUCK YOU JOHN!” he yelled and John went to pounce at him, making Alexander laugh. Hercules smiled at Alexander’s laugh and he shook his head, ending the vlog. 

Hercules walked over to Alexander and he laid on top of him earning a quiet “get the fuck off” and Hercules laughed again. The four of the boys just talked and laughed until they were about to be called onto the stage. They each smiled at each other before giving and receiving hugs and then they headed out onto the stage. 

The four of them introduced themselves and introduced their band’s name. They started out with an original song that the boys wrote together, one of their first and they decided next, they would do the cover that Alexander wanted to do. 

“So um,” Hercules started before drinking a sip of water. “Our lead vocalist right here, Alex, he’d like to cover this song called I Remember You by Skid Row!” the crowd started to cheer. “So, we started practicing and this will be our first time actually performing it. We hope you like it.” 

John started to strum and Alexander went close to the mic. “This goes out to somebody, you know who you are.” 

Lafayette’s face turned into one of shock and he just shook his head and watched as Alexander started to sing.

_“Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,_

_wind would whisper and I’d think of you._

_And all the tears you cry they’d call my name,_

_and when you needed me I came through.”_

Alexander took a deep breath as he joined John in on the strumming and he bit his lip, a pained expression was showcased on his face as he held back tears. 

_“Paint a picture as the days gone by,_

_when love went blind you would make me see._

_I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes_

_so that I knew that you were there for me._

_And time after time you were there for me.”_

The guys joined in during the chorus, making a perfect harmony. 

_“Remember yesterday? Walking hand in hand?_

_Love letters in the sand, I remember you._

_Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day_

_I’d wanna hear you say I remember you.”_

When they went back to the verse.

_”We spent the summer with the top rolled down,_

_wished ever after would be like this._

_You said ‘I love you babe’ without a sound._

_I said I’d give my life for just one kiss._

_I live for your smile, and die for your kiss.”_

Alexander’s eyes were rimmed with tears at this point. His voice cracked halfway through the line, indicating he was about to cry. The boys tried their best to try and distract him, John making stupid gestures with his guitar as they sang. Alexander just continued to be sad as they sang through the rest of the song. 

As they were nearing the end of the song, Alexander let some tears flow down his cheeks. 

“ _Woke up to the sound of pouring rain,_

_washed away a dream of you._

_And nothing else could ever take you away_

_‘cause you’ll always be my dream come true._

_Oh my darling, I love you!”_

Alexander put so much passion into those two lines that Lafayette almost felt his heart break at the sight of his best friend like this.

They finished the song and they thanked everybody who was there. As soon as they went off stage, Alexander ran into the bathroom.

 


	3. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas notices how hurt Alexander is and texts him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys i’m on discord with my friends

Thomas was literally asleep. It was 3 am, he was dead asleep, and Peggy calls him  _screaming._

“What the  _fuck,_ Peggy? Aren’t the people in your house  _sleeping?!”_ Thomas grumbled under his breath and he groaned while rubbing his eyes. What the  _fuck_ was so important that she had to call at  _three in the morning?_

“Alexander cried on stage and I think it was because of you.” 

Thomas was fully awake now. Thomas sat up in bed and he FaceTimed Peggy on his phone in a panic. He felt his heart racing. Was Alexander really this hurt still? Thomas assumes Alexander would have been okay by now, he thought he would find somebody new by now. “Send me the fucking video.” He demanded and Peggy mumbled “alright alright.” under her breath. 

“I don’t know if he’s okay, he hasn’t talked to me in like two weeks he’s been avoiding all of our calls and everything, it’s sucky.” Peggy sounded upset and Thomas sighed. 

He  _knew_ it was his fault. He felt like shit, he felt horrible.  _He did this._ He didn’t know what he was feeling, but he wanted to. Fuck, how would he help? 

Thomas got the link on his laptop and he opened it on YouTube and started the video. He watched Alexander carefully throughout the video, watching his face as it moved and how he clutched the microphone and his guitar. When it got to the point of the video where he was crying, Thomas felt his heart crack. He noticed it was as soon as he sang the word “darling”. That’s how Thomas knew it was his fault. Fuck, why did he do this? If Thomas felt bad before, well now he felt fucking terrible. Alexander was still hurting because of him and he didn’t know how in the hell to fix it. Should he apologize? Should he call? Should he tell him he wants him back? He didn’t know. 

Peggy cleared her throat. “Thomas? You still with me, dude?” She questioned, concern was laced through her words. 

“Should I text him?” Thomas wondered aloud. 

Peggy shrugged. “Maybe calling would be better. More intimate, you feel?” She said softly and Thomas nodded. “Do you know if he’s awake?” he asked and she nodded.

”He hasn’t been talking to me but I texted him a few minutes ago and he just responded saying ‘ily2 sorry for being absent lately. not doing the best. i’ll see u soon tho.’ He’s really not doing well, he used periods and everything, and we all know he doesn’t.” 

Thomas sighed and rubbed his temples. “Thank you, Pegs. I love you, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He hung up on her and he laid back down, trying to build up the courage to call Alexander. 

What if he didn’t answer? What if Alexander hated him? What if he didn’t accept his apology? What if he was still angry? Alexander was angry after awhile of being sad, what if that feeling festered and became worse?

Well, the only way to find out would be to text him.

**To Alexander:**

**Hey. Can we talk?**

_Now we wait._

Thomas didn’t get a text back for about ten minutes. 

When he did, he almost screamed. 

**From Alexander:**

**What do you want?**

_Well then._ Thomas thought. 

**To Alexander:**

**Well I want to start this by asking if you’ve been sleeping bc Pegs just told me you haven’t been the best. Second, are you okay? I saw videos of the last show and I saw you crying. If I’m the cause for this, I am so unbelievably sorry, you don’t even know. Please please don’t let this hurt you too much, Alexander. I love you and I don’t want everything to interfere with your career.**

**From Alexander:**

**1\. why do u care? 2. i’m fine 3. well obviously you’re the cause for this and i know you’re sorry but that doesn’t change what you did, thomas. it was a dick move. and if you did actually love me, you would still be here by my side supporting me. are you? NO. so you don’t. now leave me alone, you clearly don’t care because if you did you wouldn’t have left.**

Fuck.

What Alexander didn’t understand is that Thomas  _did_ care and that’s why he left. He didn’t understand that Thomas left because at the moment, he thought that’s whag would’ve been best for the both of them. He thought that if they broke up, Alexander could focus on getting used to touring around the world and not being in one place for more than a week. He thought it would be better for the two of them to better themselves in while being apart. Clearly, he thought wrong. Both of them were doing so horribly. Sure, Thomas’ grades were spectacular as always. However, he cried all the time and he was snappy with everybody (including his siblings). He just became so mean afterwards. Alexander really did bring out the best in him because before him, he was always angry and snappy. He hated everything, and he only liked one person, James. He didn’t like speaking to people and he didn’t like to go out. Sure, he was happy. It was because he was content with being alone most of the time. He was arrogant and he didn’t care about much besides himself, his family, and James. When he met Alexander, he saw the beauty and fun in everything. He was able to let loose and have fun, he was able to appreciate the world and appreciate the people around him because Alexander taught him the ropes and taught him to love. He  _didn’t_ hate everybody anymore. He actually wanted to talk to people, to make more friends. He learned that people weren’t as bad as he thought and he learned that there’s beauty in everything if you look deep enough. And why? 

_Because of Alexander._

**To Alexander:**

**Listen. I left because I thought it would be best for the both of us.**

**From Alexander:**

**well clearly it fucking wasn’t**

Thomas rolled his eyes over how stubborn he was being. Alexander usually was always this stubborn, especially during arguments. It was frustrating, really. It was like talking to a toddler. Thomas loved Alexander, but hated how stubborn he was. 

**To Alexander:**

**listen if you’re going to be rude i take my apology back. fuck you, i was really trying to be genuine but i can see that my sincerity is being ignored. goodnight.**

**From Alexander:**

**wait**

**wait no**

**im sorry**

**come bavk**

**we can talk**

**i’m sorry i was being rude**

**thomas**

**please**

**To Alexander:**

**goodnight, Alexander.**

———

Twenty minutes later, Thomas was setting his laptop up to do a livestream. He tweeted out ‘livestream in 2 mins! get on guys, it’s important<3” 

He turned his laptop on and he put on his glasses, sighing as he logged onto YouNow. Thomas started the livestream and he waited for people to arrive after he tweeted the link. When more people got onto the livestream, he smiled.

”Hey guys,” he said, he always started out his videos and his streams like this. Alexander always made fun of him for starting his YouTube videos like this and Thomas thought it was funny too, he was pretty basic. “So, um. A lot of you have been asking about my hiatus, when I’ll be back, why I left and stuff like that. Well, um. I’m going to tell you guys. I’m sorry if this makes you sad or anything.” He chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“As you all know, I was in a very public relationship with Alexander Hamilton.” He stated, reading comments that said “duh” and “we knew thomas”. “Well, right before he and his band went on tour, I ended things.” The comments were mostly filled with shock and some people weren’t surprised. “I didn’t know how I would handle being in a long distance relationship for so long, and I was scared.” Thomas felt his breath hitch. “I was scared that this would hurt our relationship, so I left.” Thomas cleared his throat in hopes that the lump in his throat would leave. “And I regretted it instantly. I’ve been off of the internet to avoid seeing his face, seeing videos of him, and to avoid talking about this. So, I’m finally publicly saying that Alexander and I are broken up because I am finally ready to share that. I want to say that I have respect for him, and I know he does for me and yes, all of our friends are still friends with both of us.” He sighed and he smiled at the camera. “I guess I wanted to clear that up but it’s too late to make an actual video. I’m sure one of you recorded this anyways and it’ll be up by tomorrow.” He chuckled.

He stopped talking and began reading comments. 

_We’re proud of you, Thomas. This takes a lot of courage._

_We’re here for you!_

_we love you !!_

_#staystrongthomas_

_#welovethomas_

_everybody makes mistakes, don’t beat yourself up. we love you_

He smiled at the comments. 

“I love you guys too.”

Not too long later, he received a text from Lafayette. 

**From Laffy Taffy:**

**I’m proud of you, mom ami. That takes a lot of courage. You’ve come far. <3 cant wait to see u when we come to NY in a few weeks. Je t’aime. **

**To Laffy Taffy:**

**je t’aime aussi <3 **

Thomas went to sleep with the feeling that weight on his shoulders was finally lifted. 

 


	4. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander fucked up and this whole chapter is him beating himself up over it ):  
> Martha makes an appearance :-)  
> it’s a short filler chapter kind of

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just ate halal food and it’s 1 am  
> also i’m writing a new story but i won’t start it until this is done  
> i wrote out every chapter plan for this story and my next story so i won’t abandon it like i did my klance story bc i didn’t know where tf it was going

_Fuck, why did I do that?_ Alexander thought to himself. He  _seriously_ fucked up. Why did he say that? He could’ve just accepted the apology and they could’ve moved on. 

 _But no, I had to run my big ass mouth._ He thought. Alexander rolled over in his bed and he groaned, burying his face into the pillow. 

Alexander sat up, going to head downstairs and get a glass of water. Once he went downstairs, he noticed the light was on already and he saw his mom sitting at the table. “Ma? Why are you up?” He whispered and he went to pour himself some water and sit next to her. She shrugged and smiled at him tiredly. 

“I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to bother your father at 3 in the morning like I always do when I can’t sleep.” 

Alexander chuckled at that.

”Mom?” He looked at her with a sad look and she hummed in response.

Alexander thought of how to word this. “What do you do when you hurt the person you love?” 

His mom looked as if she was taken aback by the question. She knew Thomas was the one to leave him, but she wondered if Alexander did something too. She chose not to ask, mostly because she didn’t want to see her son cry, it would hurt too much. 

“Well,” she began. “You apologize. You try to reason with them, you explain.” She smiled at him. “You explain that whatever you said may have came out wrong and at the time you may have meant it, but you don’t now.”

Alexander nodded and then thought for a second. “What if they hurt you first?” He asked. “What if you lost hope and you feel lost and that’s why you said what you said? What if you feel like they’re mad for invalid reasons?” he questioned and his mom put her hand on top of his, rubbing it gently to calm him.

”Alexander, my love, the only thing you can do is be patient and wait on them to forgive you. You can’t change somebody’s feelings, but you can change how you react to them. Forgive yourself, Alexander. Whatever you did probably had valid reasoning behind it.” 

Alexander smiled sadly at his mom and looked down. It left a bad taste in his mouth, but he still took the advice his mom gave. 

Alexander felt his heart ache thinking about Thomas. God, what wouldn’t he do to have him in his arms again? He just wanted him back.

”Mom,” His breath hitched. “I miss him so much.” He whimpered. “He-he tried to apologize. I was rude to him, I shouldn’t have been.” He wipes a tear that fell. 

His mom held onto his hand. “You were hurt. You were upset, rightfully so. It’s okay to be mean sometimes, Alexander. He still loves you, I can tell.” she admitted, and she truly could tell by the way he asked Lafayette how Alexander was doing. “Be patient, my son. Everything will resolve itself.” She got up and walked behind the chair he was sitting on and kissed the top of his head, wrapping her arms around him. “I love you, okay?” 

Alexander sniffled and put his hand on his mom’s wrist. He wiped his eye with his sleeve and he kissed his mom’s hand. “I love you too, ma.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love u guys. have a wonderful day/night/afternoon you beautiful coconuts <3


	5. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas decides to try and move on.  
> alternatively  
> he goes on a date with Charles Lee (shudder)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guyssss i just woke up how are y’all i have homework but i’m gonna start it around 11  
> oh btw everybody is in grades 11, and 12 or graduated. angie graduated, peggy and thomas are in grade 11, eliza’s gf james and eliza are in grade 12 and charles lee is in grade 12

“Thomas, no, that’s a horrible idea.” James muttered under his breath and Angelica threw a fry at him.

They were currently eating at a five guys and Thomas was picking at his food and sulking because he hurt Alexander the night before. He felt like at this point, it was almost impossible for Alexander to come back. So, he suggested going out with the guy who had been hitting on him for a long time...

Angelica glared at James. “James, you’re wonderful, I tell you all the time. I wouldn’t be dating you if you weren’t. But, I think it’ll be good for Thomas to try something different if he really thinks it’ll help.” Eliza groaned and put her head down and her girlfriend, Maria (who had joined them for lunch), put her hand on top of her head. 

“Angie, my wonderful sister,” Peggy started. “You always have great ideas, but that’s a shitty idea. No offense.” She shrugged and took a bite of her sandwich. “Listen, Thomas, rebounding is never a good idea. It’s not safe, it can always hurt somebody.”

”But Lafayette said-“

”But James is saying no!” James butted in and Angelica put a fry in his mouth. 

She giggled when he glared at her and kissed his cheek. “Listen, Thomas, do whatever you want we’ll all support you. Right? Even when you make shitty decisions, we all support you.” She stayed and the group collectively agreed because yeah, that was true. They all made some pretty bad decisions (like when Peggy dated John Adams, oh dear god we don’t speak of that), but they all supported each other through everything. Even if it backfired, they were still there. So, Thomas texted Charles Lee and told him he’d love to go on a date with him, because Charles asked literally the night before. 

———

The next day at around 2 P.M., Thomas was ready for his date and he was being picked up by Charles Lee in his car. He smiled sweetly at him and greeted him a hug. Thomas sat back in the seat and he looked at the road ahead of them. “So, are you gonna vlog?” Charles asked and Thomas laughed softly. He’d made a joke the night before about how he should vlog the whole date, but Charles may have taken it seriously. 

“I guess so.” He shrugged, not really thinking in the moment. Thomas pulled his phone out and opened the camera, going to the video portion.

”Hey, what’s up vlog squad? I decided I’d vlog today’s adventure and I’m joined here with a friend, introduce yourself.” Thomas giggled and pointed the camera at Charles who waved but didn’t take his eyes off of the road. 

“Sorry, trying not to kill us hold on.” He laughed and Thomas did too.  _Maybe Lee wasn’t so bad after all?_ When they got to a red light, he turned towards the camera. “Hey, I’m Charles Lee.” He smiled and turned his attention towards Thomas who was just talking to the camera and explaining what their plans were and Charles blurted out “you’re cute.” earning a blushing Thomas. 

When they got to the restaurant they were going to be eating at, Thomas put his phone away and locked it. They sat at a table for two, Thomas across from Charles. Charles said thank you to the waitress who poured them water and he looked at Thomas from across the table.

”Thomas,” he started and Thomas picked his head up and smiled then hummed. “You’re quiet.” He chuckled and Thomas shook his head. “I know this is sort of weird, but I’ve liked you for so long and I actually want to get to know you, I promise I’m not just using you.” He explained and took Thomas’ hand from across the table.

Thomas looked down, he felt guilty. It was weird to be with somebody that wasn’t Alexander in a romantic setting. He felt odd, it felt odd. But, he went along with it. “Thank you. It’s weird for me because I’ve been with Alex for a long time, but I think I’m ready to move on.”

He totally wasn’t. 

Charles nodded and he just smiled at him and carried on some normal conversation, and even slipped in some flirty words. Thomas was giggling nervously the whole time, not really feeling it but  _dammit he needed to get Alexander off of his fucking mind._

The rest of their lunch went on with, thankfully, no more awkward conversation. They spoke like normal and just shared some laughs. They mutually decided to split the bill and then they left the restaurant, hand in hand. Charles took a picture of their hands and asked if it was okay to post it (since you know, hand holding pictures are super cute). Thomas approved and he smiled as they began to just walk around the neighborhood they were in just talking and enjoying each other’s company.

He liked it, yeah, but this wasn’t Alexander. It didn’t feel the same. Maybe he needed to give it time. Maybe he would get over Alexander like this. 

Charles posted the picture and Thomas kept vlogging. 

When Charles Lee dropped Thomas home, he kissed him at the door and said “goodbye, Thomas.” Thomas waved him off with a smile and went inside, already feeling the guilt build up even more. 

He went to his room to edit the vlog before tweeting out that a new video would be up and he uploaded it and then headed to the shower. 

He didn’t know what kind of response to expect, but he hoped it was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y’all have a lovely day/night/afternoon <3 if you wanna yell at me for this chapter because thomas is going on a date with charles lee go ahead lmao i wanna yell at me too  
> LOVE Y’ALL <3


	6. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander saw the vlog, and ooooh was he pissed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m soooo tired

Alexander’s phone buzzed with a notification front YouTube. It said  _Tjeffsvlogs_ and the title was “I went on a date???” 

“Huh,” Alexander chuckled. “Clickbait.” He muttered and then played the video. When he saw who was in the car with Thomas,  _ooh_ was he fucking angry. He knew Charles Lee always had a thing for Thomas. But, Thomas was _his boyfriend. Not Charles Lee’s boyfriend._ He felt his blood boiling at the sound of Charles Lee complimenting Thomas.  _His_ Thomas. 

Wait. He wasn’t  _his_ anymore 

Alexander felt his stomach drop at that realization. He felt his heart sunk so far into his stomach. 

_Thomas wasn’t his anymore._

He knew this, yes, and he came to terms with this, yes. But, Thomas was moving on and he wasn’t. Why was Thomas moving on so early? Didn’t he literally text him the other night saying he loved him and still felt horrible? If he felt so horrible, why would he be on a date with  _Charles Lee of all fucking people?_ Alexander sat up and got off of his bed, heading into John’s room, who didn’t even get to finish greeting him before Alexander flopped on top of him and groaned. 

“Okay then.” John muttered and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m guessing you saw it.” he said and Alexander nodded and he angrily sat up and sat next to John.

”What the  _fuck,_ John?! He was on a date with  _Charles Lee of all fucking people?!_ Didn’t he literally say he loved me the other night? Did he lie? What the fuck-“ 

“Alex, honey-“

”No!” Alexander snapped and John put his hands up in defense. “Don’t ‘Alex, honey’ me right now! I’m angry.” He growled and John sort of felt scared at the sight of his small best friend being this angry because he hadn’t seen him this angry since they were in school. “How-how could he? He said fuck you to me and left it at that! I’m- ugh!” he face planted into the bed and yelled into the pillow. “I thought that he loved me, why would he leave me if he loved me? Why would he already be moving on if he loved me? If he loved me he-“

”Alexander, listen to me.” John cut him off and made him face him. He took Alexander by the shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “Sometimes, when you love somebody, you have to let them go. If they come back, it was meant to be.” 

Alexander studied John’s face for a second. “What kind of mom quote was that?” he asked and John face palmed. 

“I’m sorry.” he shrugged. “John. What if he just didn’t want me anymore and  _that’s_ why he left?” He asked and John’s face softened. He pulled Alexander into a hug and rubbed his back. 

“He left because he thought you’d want something different. He didn’t want to put you through the pain of not seeing him.”

”But not having him is  _worse!_ Not seeing him, I could probably handle but  _this, this is so hard._ And he’s moving on already which probably means he wanted to leave me so he could try something new. Wasn’t I enough?” he whimpered and John sighed, knowing he wasn’t goibg to be able to get through to him. 

“I’m sorry, Alex.” He spoke softly and Alexander just started crying against his chest. 

“I want him back, John. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to feel like I mean something to him but right now I truly doubt that I mean anything to him. If he did still love me, he wouldn’t have done that.” He mumbled.

John sighed and rubbed his head. “Alex, you sound selfish. I know in this situation, you should be, but maybe he’s doing this  _for the sake of both of you._ Maybe it’s better to explore new things before you two get back together, if you two get back together.”

Alexander thought for a second and sniffled, wiping his nose with the corner of his sleeve. “He said he’d wait for me.”

John nodded. “Maybe this is his form of waiting, Alex. Maybe he wants to see if he still wants to be with you.”

Alexander felt his heart physically crack at that statement. If he still want to be with him? Didn’t Thomas say he would always want him? Did he lie? Fuck, the anxiety was killing him and a million thoughts were running through his head every second. He didn’t know what to think. Alexander didn’t say anything back, he just cried some more and John held him as he did so. John rocked him back and forth in hopes to calm him down, and succeeded in the end. When Alexander calmed down, the two of them laid down and watch vine compilations just to make Alexander laugh. 

He did once or twice.

That was all John needed to know he was okay. 

———

Alexander didn’t sleep that night. It was the last night in the London house, but he couldn’t sleep. Instead, he stayed up writing songs and finishing songs that he began to write. He started to write this song called If You Don’t Know when he and Thomas broke up, he was finishing up the second verse and the bridge. 

“ _Tonight we’re fading fast, I just wanna make this last._

_If I could say the things that I wanna say, I’d find a way to make you stay. I’d never let you get away, catch you in all the games we played._

_So, go ahead rip my heart out show me what loves all about._

_Go ahead rip my heart out if that’s what loves all about._

_I want you to want me this way, and I need you to need me to stay._

_If you say that you don’t feel a thing,_

_if you don’t know let me go._

_Let me go,_

_if you don’t know then just let me go.”_

Alexander strummed his guitar, trying to make chords for the song and trying to understand how this was going to be sung. It was almost 5 in the morning when he finished. He decided he’d record and upload this before they left at 7 for their flight back to the united states. 

He didn’t want it to be a fancy upload, he wanted this to be pure, raw emotion. He wanted to be clear to his fans and let them know that he wasn’t fine and let them know that it’s alright to not be fine and it’s okay to be clear about your feelings. He wanted to show them he was human too. 

He grabbed his macbook and turned it on, going to photobooth and picking the black and white filter. He started to record, not even introducing the song. He sang the first verse and chorus without crying, surprisingly. But, then he got to the second verse. 

“ _Let’s forget the past, I swear we’ll make this last._

_’Cause I remember the taste of your skin tonight_

_and the way that you looked you always had those eyes._

_I remember the way it felt inside_

_and the names of the songs that made you cry._

_You would scream_

_we would fight_

_you would call me crazy._

_I would laugh, you were mad but you’d always kiss me._

_And the shirt that you had that I always borrowed, when I woke it was gone there was no tomorrow.”_

Alexander felt his voice crack halfway through and he let some tears slip out of his eyes, not even bothering to wipe them away. 

He got up to the bridge and last chorus and he put so much more passion in. He strummed so hard he felt like his pick would break and he felt his chest swell with emotion. 

_“Go ahead rip my heart out if you think that’s what loves all about._

_Go ahead rip my heart out, go ahead rip my heart out._

_Go ahead rip my heart out if you think that’s what loves all about._

_Go ahead rip my heart out, go ahead rip my heart out._

_I want you to want me this way_

_and I need you to need me to stay._

_If you say that you don’t feel a thing,_

_if you don’t know, let me go.”_

When Alexander finished the song, he wiped his tears. He stopped the video and immediately went to upload it to YouTube, no editing or anything. He titled it “If You Don’t Know - Original Song” and put in the description 

“Here’s a video since I haven’t put one up in awhile. I haven’t been feeling the greatest and I made this song. I hope you guys like it. I love you all so dearly, thank you for the love and support.” 

He uploaded it immediately. 

Ten minutes after uploading, his phone was flooded with notifications from YouTube, Instagram, and Twitter saying #staystrongalex and #weloveyoualex and comments saying ‘we love you and this song sm! you’re so strong!’ 

He felt so overwhelmed with the love and positivity that he  _cried._

 

_Maybe everything would be okay afterall._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AWWWW IM CRYING OUCHHHH


	7. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They make it to America. Alexander hasn’t slept or eaten in two weeks..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this daylight savings got me all the way fucked up man

They’d been in America for about two weeks now. They’re touring the east side at the moment, they’d be going to New Jersey and New York for the last three shows of the east U.S. tour. Alexander was getting more exhausted by the minute. The anxiety about Thomas, plus the heartbreak, plus having to do a show every night was getting to him. The guys and his parents have been trying to force feed him, but he ended up only eating about one meal per day or so. John felt awful. He felt like he couldn’t even recognize Alexander anymore. Why was this eating him up so badly? John knew exactly why. He knew that Alexander didn’t feel good enough and that’s why he was reacting like this. He wish he could just pull the sadness out of Alexander like a string, but sadly that wasn’t possible. 

It happened halfway through the day.

They were in New Jersey on this specific day. Alexander was feeling worse and obviously, he didn’t sleep. They were heading out to go get something to eat when Alexander felt light headed and he felt his body heat up. He stopped walking and grabbed onto John’s shoulder, trying to steady himself. John furrowed his eyebrows and moved his arm around Alexander’s waist to support him. 

“You okay, man?” John looked at his best friend and tried his best to hold him up. He saw Alexander weakly nod, but his question was answered when Alexander’s eyes rolled back and he collapsed on the ground on his knees. John panicked and fell to the ground with him, pulling him into his lap. “Somebody call an ambulance!” he yelled. George and Martha were still coming down from their rooms and Lafayette and Hercules just walked into the lobby to this sight. Hercules’ eyes widened and he dialed 911 on his phone and quickly stuttered out the address of where they were and told them to send an ambulance. John checked for a pulse and he saw Martha and George come into the room. George picked up his son in a panic and he sat down on the ground with him in his hands. He checked for his pulse and he made sure he was breathing and Martha felt tears prickle in her eyes. Lafayette’s body began to fill with anxiety and Hercules felt his heart beat. John just felt like everything was ripped from him at once because  _he didn’t know what the fuck was going on._

Everybody knew Alexander didn’t like to sleep, but this whole situation had made it ten times worse. John didn’t know how to feel anymore. He didn’t care, he just wanted Alexander to wake up. 

By the time the ambulance came, John’s whole body was shaking. He wanted his best friend to be well. John couldn’t even bring himself to cry or speak, all he could do was just shake and hold onto Alexander’s hand in the ambulance. He listened to Martha’s sniffles next to him, unable to move or do anything but stare at Alexander with fear. George wrapped an arm around his wife and mumbled “He probably collapsed from exhaustion. Without eating and sleeping, performing can be a lot.” He himself had a lot of anxiety, but he wanted to stay strong for his wife. 

Lafayette wrapped an arm around John and Hercules took John’s hand. “He’ll be okay. He needs food and sleep and water and stuff.” Hercules reassured him and gave him a weak smile. John, for obvious reasons, was the most anxious (besides Martha and George) for Alexander to get better. 

They got to the hospital and got Alexander into a room, hooking him up to an I.V. and up to some machines. His heartbeat was weak, but he was breathing. He had a breathing mask on as well. Martha sat at the side of his bed, holding his hand. 

\------

Alexander awoke to quiet whispers around him and a throbbing headache. He groaned under his breath and rubbed his forehead and then looked to his side mumbling "mom?" 

Martha smiled and she looked at him, breathing out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, the room seemed to calm at once. 

John sat at the foot side of the bed and he put his hand on Alexander's leg. "You're dumb." He smiled and Alexander went to speak but he coughed. 

"Give me water so I can insult you." he muttered and Hercules laughed at him.

Everything seemed to lighten up as soon as he woke up. 

Doctors came in to check his vitals and such, making sure everything was okay since he was out for about 6 hours. The doctor turned to George and Martha and began to speak. "So, he passed out due to exhaustion, dehydration, and lack of nutrients. Make sure he eats and drinks enough and that he's getting 8 hours of sleep  _minimum."_ The doctor suggested that he shouldn't perform for about two weeks and that he should just rest and Alexander was  **not** happy about that. When the doctors left the room, he  _flipped._

" _Two weeks?!"_ His voice was raspy and he flopped onto the bed. "That's too damn long, dad please!" he begged and George gave him a look. "Dad, I can't let down the fans. Two weeks?!"

"Your physical health is more important, Alexander." Hercules lectured and Martha agreed with him. "I'm sure they'll understand." Lafayette nodded and he took Alexander's hand. 

"They will not be angry." Lafayette offered Alexander a warm smile, who just sighed in response. 

About an hour went by, the six of them sat just talking and trying to get Alexander to understand that his fans wouldn't be angry with him. A doctor came in to interrupt this, saying that Alexander had visitors.

Alexander sae a familiar puff of dark hair and he swore he almost passed out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON YOU LOVELY KIWIS  
> also is this chapter dramatic i hope not sorry


	8. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas panics because he hears that Alexander is in the hospital from Angelica and panics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried to be more articulate? this is my first story that im actually not abandoning and im trying to improve on my writing. my ap english lang teacher says i speak amazingly and my writing doesnt match that so im trying to write how i speak??? lmk if my writing is alright pls i love your feedback  
> also im dead inside as i write this. this daylight savings got me fucked up it's 10:22 pm as im writing this note (im sure this wont go up until tmm anyways) but im about to knock tf out bc it feels like it's 11 pm and i sleep at 9 because i like sleep

James, Thomas, Angelica, Peggy, and Eliza were all on a skype call (well, Angelica, Peggy, and Eliza were in the same room) and Thomas was blabbering something about him having a headache.

Angelica glared at him. "Stop being bitter." Thomas just rolled his eyes in response. Thomas  _was_ bitter, but he didn't want to admit that. He's been bitter. Maybe it was all of the black coffee he was drinking. He was sure it had become part of his bloodstream at this point. Was that healthy? He didn't even know. He'd started doing so because it reminded him of Alexander. At this point, he did anything that reminded him of Alexander. It prevented him from missing the boy who's heart he broke. 

Speaking of Alexander, Thomas hadn't heard about him from any of their friends. He vaguely remembered Peggy mentioning how Alexander had been avoiding them all and how it was beginning to worry her. He was very consistent with checking up on his friends and keeping them in the loop. 

In the middle of Peggy yelling at James for saying something dumb, Angelica's eyes widened as she received a text on her phone. Eliza furrowed her eyebrows and looked over her shoulder, her facial expression turning from happy to anxious. "Peggy, shut the fuck up. What's wrong?" Thomas looked at Angelia through the screen with concern in his eyes and she swallowed. Thomas could tell that she was hesitating to speak.

Peggy read over Angelica's shoulder as well and she blurted out "Alexander's in the hospital right now.." her heart dropped as she said this and Thomas' stomach instantly felt horrible. His heart began to race and a million thoughts ran through his head at once. 

_Is he okay? Why is he there? Is he alive? Was there an accident? Did he hurt himself?_

_Too many questions, not enough answers._

"We're going to Jersey, now. Tell Hercules to send the address to the hospital." Thomas was already getting out of his bed and Angelica nodded. 

"Just tell your parents, break started today anyways they shouldn't care. Plus, Mr. and Mrs. Washington are there. I'll have them text our parents. Let's go." 

In 10 minutes flat, they were all picked up in Angelica's car and heading to the hospital.

 

Thomas nervously fiddled with his sweatshirt as they drove. "How long?" he asked and Angelica glanced at him through her mirror. 

"We just got on the highway. Probably an hour."

Thomas nodded and Peggy noticed that he was nervous so she made him lay on her shoulder. Peggy carded a hand through his hair and sighed at him. "He's okay. He's going to be okay. John said they're there, he's breathing." Thomas nodded and he just buried his face in her shoulder. Eliza reached across and grabbed his hand, rubbing soothing circles in it. Thomas suddenly felt at ease. But, he was still scared.

\------

As soon as they got to the hospital, Thomas ran to the front desk and begged to see Alexander. James tugged him back because he was about to attack the nurse, literally. The nurse said they would be allowing visitors in about 20 minutes, so the group decided they'd sit in the waiting room. Thomas didn't sit, he opted for walking back and forth in a panic and Angelica sighed and looked over at her boyfriend. "Go make sure he's alright." she looked up at Thomas worriedly and James walked over to Thomas and grabbed his shoulders.

"Thomas, buddy, it's okay." James spoke slowly and Thomas just looked at him, anxiety filling his face. "John texted me and said he's awake, they'll let us in soon, alright?" He reassured and Thomas didn't say anything, he just nodded and sat down next to James and Angelica.

When it was time for them to go inside, Thomas felt his heart speed up. At this point, he didn't even care that Alexander was upset with him. He just wanted to see his face so he could truly believe that he was okay. He wanted to talk to him, hear his voice. He hated that the first time he was seeing him again would be in a hospital room while he's hooked up to an I.V.

They were told the room number and they headed down. Thomas felt anxiety rush through his stomach as they got closer and closer. He walked in front, wanting to be the first one to step inside. He opened the door slowly, the creak startling him a bit. Thomas felt something curl in his stomach, like he was about to throw up. Thomas' head felt heavy as he walked inside and his teeth dug into his bottom lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. As soon as he walked through the door, Alexander's face dropped. Thomas knew that look. It was the look Alexander gave when John Adams walked into the room; a look of anger and hatred. Thomas hates that this was the look that he was being given. 

The rest of their friends piled into the room, greeting the Washingtons and kissing Alexander's cheeks or hugging him. Peggy walked over to John and planted a big kiss on his lips (he totally blushed like a little child), then greeted Hercules and Lafayette. When everybody was greeted and everyone was situated, Peggy spoke up. "Alexander, please learn to take care of yourself." Thomas could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"It scares us when you don't sleep. You get sick so often because of your lack of self care, please." Eliza looked at him with sympathy and he sighed in response. Thomas knew that Alexander hated when people felt "sorry" for him. He didn't want to be in this hospital, Thomas knew that and Alexander didn't even have to say it. Thomas just  _knew_ him like that. But Thomas also knew that reminding Alexander that he had people who supported him was important right now. He needed to know that there were people that he could rely on in a dismal time. 

By the time everybody was finished speaking to Alexander and lecturing him about self care, Thomas tapped George's shoulder. "May I have a moment alone to speak with Alexander, Mr. Washington?" Thomas politely questioned, hoping that George didn't hate him  _too much_ for leaving Alexander right before the most important event in his career.

George glanced between Thomas and his son before patting Thomas on the shoulder and nodding. George escorts everybody out and says they're all going to go grab some food at the hospital food court and Alexander went to protest before Peggy gave him a "just go with it" look and took John's hand as they headed out of the hospital room. 

Thomas nervously planted himself on a chair next to Alexander's bed and looked at him, not even daring to speak first.

Alexander looked down at his hands and picked at the black nail polish his mom had painted on a few nights ago because it looked "edgy". "If you didn't want me, you could've just said so." Alexander said calmly and Thomas went to argue, but Alexander just kept on talking. "I know I'm not that great, but you left before I began the biggest achievement of my career and- and.." his voice started to get high pitched. Thomas could tell that this was hard for him, he was telling Thomas _finally_ how the breakup made him feel without any anger. Just raw emotion. Thomas conjectured that he was too tired to be angry at this point. "Thomas, you didn't just leave, you  _openly_ announced online that you're with  _Charles Lee_.  ** _Charles fucking Lee_** of all people? Really? Was that just to spite me?" Alexander questioned and Thomas opened his mouth but no words spilled out. "I get it, we're broken up and I shouldn't care, but aren't  _you the one_ who texted me telling me you still loved me?" Alexander breathed out a breath he had been holding in since he started his sentence and Thomas watched as a tear rolled down Alexander's cheek. Almost instinctively, Thomas reached to wipe the tear from his cheek and Alexander pushed his hand away. Thomas felt a pang in his heart at Alexander's action and he was glared at, which made his heart feel like it was being ripped from his chest. 

Thomas just kept his hands in his lap as his brain went into overdrive with trying to come up with ways to explain himself. There really was  _no way to explain himself._ He was using Charles Lee and he posted it for no reason at all, knowing it would hurt Alexander. Thomas had nobody to blame but himself. He was the cause of all of this. But he had to admit, Alexander was being a stubborn asshole at the moment. Thomas still couldn't bring himself to hate him. He was still irrevocably in love with Alexander Hamilton, no matter how much he was hurting him right now.

"I'm sorry, Alex, please listen to me." Thomas begged and Alexander looked away. Thomas felt a pang of anger mixed with sadness in his chest. He suddenly felt the urge to grab him by the shoulders and just scream at him, but he figured that wouldn't be the best idea since Alexander was already upset  _and_ in a hospital bed. "I-I broke up with you because I felt like it would be easier-"

"It clearly isn't easy, Thomas!" Alexander snapped and Thomas took in a sharp breath and clenched his fist. He bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows, exhaling harshly.

"Would you shut the fuck up for like, two seconds, and let me talk?" Thomas bit back and Alexander seemed to shut up instantly. Thomas felt himself growing angrier by the minute because Alexander was being  _fucking annoying_. As much as he loved him, this was really irking Thomas. 

"I'm in love with you, and I always fucking will be, but I wanted to let you go for a little bit because you were going to be  _across the fucking world for months._ Who knows what could've happened?" Thomas explained and Alexander's eyes met his in that moment.

"So," he began, "you don't trust me?" Alexander questioned and Thomas groaned and face palmed.

" _Do you not understand what the fuck I'm trying to say?"_ Thomas started to raise his voice an Alexander felt himself backing into the bed because this is the first time out of all of their arguments that Thomas has never been so angry with him. "We have been together for awhile, Alexander. We're just kids, who knows if this is what we want forever?"

"Because  _it is_ what I want forever, Thomas!”

”So do I!”

”Then why did you go?!” Alexander whimpered and Thomas felt himself get up to sit on the side of the bed and take his hands. “Why did you leave if this is what you want?” Alexander cried and Thomas leaned down and pressed his forehead against Alexander’s and tears fell from his eyes as well, hitting his cheeks softly. 

Thomas shushed Alexander gently and he closed his eyes and wiped his thumb across the side of his face softly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” he heard himself saying and he took in a breath. “I love you, I’m so sorry.” he mumbled and Alexander reached up and cupped his cheeks, causing Thomas to open his eyes. 

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for yelling, and I’m sorry for being an asshole.” Alexander spoke under his breath but Thomas could hear him perfectly fine. It didn’t need to be any louder. This moment felt so personal, so soft and loving. So forgiving. Thomas felt a huge weight being lifted off of his chest, his body relaxed. While Thomas’ body relaxed, Alexander leaned up and he pressed a soft kiss to Thomas’ lips and  _oh my fucking god_ Thomas  _swooned._

It had been so long since Thomas felt his lips against Alexander’s,  _his Alexander._ He tasted just as Thomas remembered, sweet. Alexander’s lips were slightly chapped, probably from not being hydrated, but Thomas didn’t care about the chapped feeling. All he cared about was the fact that he finally had Alexander back in his arms and he finally was able to kiss him again. Alexander forgave him, Alexander was  _here_ and he wasn’t upset with him anymore.

Thomas was elated.

He was over the fucking moon.

Thomas had Alexander, and Alexander had him. 

Fucking  _finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE A GOOD AFTERNOON/MORNING/NIGHT YOU LOVELY COCONUTS!  
> also i love jeggy :))))))))))


	9. Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander's finally released but he's forced to stay home for two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter before i write the last chapter :(((. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER BEFORE THE EPILOGUE BTW  
> BUT DW, IM WRITING A NEW STORY AND I HAVE IT ALL PLANNED AND EVERYTHING!!!! IT'S JAMILTON BUT LMK IF I SHOULD WRITE SOME MORE INTO THIS SERIES ABOUT LIKE THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS. I WANTED TO WRITE A SHORT PROLOGUE STORT ON JEGGY AND MULETTE FOR THIS AND ALSO FOR MARLIZA

" _Finally."_ Alexander ran out of the hospital and practically _kissed the ground_. "I haven't touched a pen in a week and I think I'm going to die. Can we go now? I wanna go play my guitar." Alexander whined, looking at his father.

"What did Thomas do to you? You've been so giddy since he came to see you last Wednesday." Martha rolled her eyes at her son in a playful manner. "Even John couldn't get you to smile that much." But, she wasn't angry or anything. She knew why he was so happy, she felt her heart fill with glee from seeing her son like this again. Halfway through the week, George travelled to New York using the train and he drove all the way back to Jersey, so they had their car now. They all piled in and Alexander made himself comfortable in the backseat of the car. George kept glancing back at Alexander, who had fallen asleep (wow, who knew he could sleep?) halfway through the ride home. 

\------

About an hour and a half later, George pulled into their driveway. All of them had been a bit homesick, so they were more than happy to finally be home in New York. Martha opened the backdoor of the car and gently shook Alexander to wake him. They all headed inside of the house and the first thing Alexander did was head up to his bedroom and flop face first on the bed. He inhaled his sheets and smiled at the fact that he would be here for two weeks until they had to go back on tour. Instantly, an idea popped into his head. It was about 12 p.m. at the time, so he decided he'd ask his parents if Thomas could come over later on. Maybe later in the week all of his friends could sleep over, at the moment they all needed their family time.

Martha agreed to let Thomas come over at any time, mostly because she knew Alexander would relax and  _actually_ take a real nap if Thomas came over.

Thomas was over in 10 minutes flat.

He greeted Alexander's parents and kissed Martha's cheek, thanking them for letting him come over, and then headed to Alexander's room. Thomas felt a smile growing on his lips as he knocked on the door and Alexander opened it almost as soon as Thomas knocked and immediately, he wrapped his arms around his neck and buried his face in his neck. He felt Thomas' arms gather around his waist and then felt himself being lifted off of the ground. Thomas picked Alexander up and shut the door, then carried him over to the bed and laid down with Alexander still in his arms. Alexander buried his head against Thomas' chest, inhaling the smell of his cologne. Alexander grinned against his chest, pressing a small kiss to it. 

"You're here." Thomas felt a small vibration on his chest as Alexander spoke and he looked down at him. 

"I'm here." Thomas repeated dazedly. He ran a hand through Alexander's hair and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

Alexander leaned up and pressed a sweet kiss against his lips, Thomas' hands moved to Alexander's waist. Alexander was on top of him, so it was easy for Thomas to hold him and rub at his back gently. Thomas ran his hands through Alexander's hair as they kissed slowly. Alexander's hands moved to cup Thomas' cheeks delicately and Thomas smiled at the gentle feeling. 

Just when Alexander was going to tilt his head and deepen the kiss, Thomas felt his phone buzz in his pocket. Alexander groaned and pulled back then laid down next to him as Thomas checked the caller I.D. and mumbled "yikes."

Alexander furrowed his eyebrows at him and he moved to lay his head on his chest. Thomas answered the call before giving a fed up "What do you want?" to the person on the other line. Alexander could barely make out what the person on the other line was saying, he didn't even know who it could've been. That was until Thomas' voice sounded annoyed as he uttered "I broke up with you, now fuck off." Alexander sat up and looked at him.

"Was that-"

"Charles? Yes." Thomas rolled his eyes. "I broke it off the day we went to see you and he's been blowing up my phone nonstop since." Thomas sounded annoyed but Alexander thought it was hilarious. Alexander laid his head back down on Thomas' chest before saying "Well, he should leave you alone because your boyfriend has an electric guitar that he can beat him with."

Thomas smiled at the word boyfriend, but decided he wanted to mess with him. "Boyfriend?" Thomas questioned, acting confused. Alexander bit his lip and looked away. "Well- well I thought-"

"I'm playing with you, baby." Thomas chuckled, earning a slap on the chest. Alexander still couldn't wipe the grin off of his face. 

"I love you, Thomas." Alexander said, his voice laced with sincerity. 

Thomas finally felt whole again at the sound of those words rolling off of Alexander's tongue.

"I love you more, Alexander."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUckin finally  
> have a beautiful day/night/afternoon you lovely humans


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set 5 years in the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS STORY IS COMING TO AN END!! THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER BUT LIKE I SAID I HAVE A NEW STORY PLANNED!!!!

"Thomas  _noo."_ Alexander whined as Thomas put the vlog camera in his face. He hadn't shaved in a week and his hair was an absolute mess. They were waiting backstage at Madison Square Garden to go on stage. Alexander giggled and pushed Thomas away when he came closer and John rolled his eyes. "Come on lovebirds. Alexander, we're on in 5."

Hercules giggled at John and shook his head. "You and Pegs are just like that." He teased and John threw a guitar pick, hitting him in the forehead. Peggy came up behind John and wrapped her arms around him. 

"I heard my name." She stated and John just shook his head. Lafayette was tuning his bass guitar in the corner and John furrowed his eyebrows at him when he looked at his left hand. "Laf," he began, "where's your ring?" Lafayette glanced down at this hand before noticing that his marriage ring wasn't on his finger. Hercules reached into his pocket and pulled it out. 

"You forgot already? You told me to hold it." Hercules smirked at his husband who came over and swatted his arm playfully and then he stole a kiss from him. Eliza and Maria were sitting on the couch beside Angelica, James, and all of the guys' parents. All of them had come to watch the show and they all had front row seats. Alexander looked around the room, seeing all of the people he loved sitting there with him. His heart felt like it was about to burst because of the happiness he felt and he looked at Thomas and leaned over to press a kiss to his mouth. 

"Wish me luck." Alexander grinned and Thomas kissed his cheek. "Go get 'em, darlin'." 

Alexander was a 22 year old man who  _blushed_ at being called darlin'. Thomas thought it was fucking adorable.

\------

The boys ran out on stage and played their opening song, which was their first single. Alexander enthusiastically jumped around on stage as he played his guitar and sang into the microphone. Thomas was still backstage, all of their friends and family knew but Alexander hadn't seen him stay behind. He was paying attention to the crowd more than anything. When Alexander realized that Thomas wasn't there, they had just finished their song. John introduced them and Alexander mouthed to Lafayette "where's Thomas?" who just shrugged with a knowing smirk in response. John continued to speak before Hercules picked up where he left off. 

"So, we actually have a surprise." The crowd screamed at that. "As you all know, yesterday was Alexander's 22nd birthday." The crowd all started to yell "yes" and "happy birthday!" Hercules chuckled into the microphone. "The guys and I all devised something, so Alexander, we hope you like it."

Alexander's smile grew, but he furrowed his eyebrows and looked at all of them as they began to play happy birthday on their guitars and Hercules played along on the drums. As Alexander turned to the side, he saw Thomas walk out on stage holding a cake with 22 lit candles and Alexander threw his head back and laughed. He felt tears of happiness in his eyes as he saw his boyfriend walk out with a cake while the crowd sang him happy birthday. Alexander blew out the candles and he leaned up to press a kiss to Thomas' lips, earning screams from the crowd. He smiled against his lips and wiped his eyes, then turned to his best friends and hugged all three of them. 

"But wait, there's more." John giggled and Alexander looked at him funny. "You sound like an infomercial." 

John shrugged, then pointed behind Alexander and Alexander turned around to Thomas on one knee on the stage. He had an opened blue raspberry ring pop wrapper and a diamond ring sticking out of it. Lafayette took the mic off of the stand and handed it to Thomas while grinning like a maniac. Alexander felt himself laughing, but also crying. 

Thomas looked up at his boyfriend with a huge smile and began to speak. "Alexander," he started, "I know we used to hate each other and the second I realized I had feelings for you I was repulsed, but now there's no other person I'd want to be with. We always have our disagreements and you're super annoying, but I wouldn't have it any other way." The crowd awed at him." If there wasn't any gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you." Thomas repeated what he had said so many years prior when he asked Alexander to be his boyfriend. With tears in his eyes, Thomas stared at Alexander. 'Will you marry me, Alexander?" 

As soon as he said that, the crowd went wild. People were crying from the whole scene, it was the purest thing they'd ever seen.

Alexander couldn't even bring himself to speak. All he did was cup his hand over his mouth and nod frantically as tears fell down his cheeks. His family and friends were all cheering and clapping and there were so many pictures of the whole scene. 

Thomas stood up and slipped the ring onto Alexander's finger, leaning down and pressing kisses to his lips. Alexander wrapped his arms around his neck and he laughed against his lips.

"I really got the good side of things, didn't I?"

Thomas just grinned in response and kept kissing his fiancé.

_**fin.** _ _****_ ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ILY GUYS SO MUCHHHHHH THANK U FOR THE KUDOS ON THIS AND THE FEEDBACK ON THIS SERIES!! ILL LIST THIS AS A COMPLETED SERIES WHEN I DECIDE ON WRITING PROLOGUE STORIES ON HOW EVERYBODY MET.  
> AAAAA THIS WAS SO FUCKING FLUFFY IM SO HAPPY DjhfjkshSFJSJDHSLDGKKSJDFKJS  
> HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT/AFTERNOON YOU LOVELY WATERMELONS

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me!  
> insta: kvrishmaxo  
> twit: kvrishma


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